Let’s not.

Instead we can talk about my first subterranean adventure since Parys Mountain last November. What with my exams finishing on Thursday and a foot that is 85% there*, the first free weekend I leapt at the chance to go caving at the spiritual homeland known as the TSG (albeit in my case mainly whisky). I was there in an official capacity too, co-representing SUSS at the CHECC delegates meeting with Dave. I drove out and felt a powerful sense of nostalgia – the curve of the roads anticipated at every turn, the scenery I’ve seen hundreds of times and other tautological statements reiterating a point without a purpose. Joking aside, I parked by the church and walked to that godly green door to find Sam and Dave in the road. Another wave of nostalgia.

Pub and pints later, the varied group assembled to represent the caving community were in fine form – I however was not, and so elected to go to bed at the unreasonable hour of 1. They continued heartily with Mesh falling asleep on the table and having to talk to the Craven the following morning whose night we had just ruined. Balls to them, as is commonly said (in jest I might add!). Breakfasted and watered, I elected to go to Eldon on the basis that I’m unfit and wanted to be sociable as well as cave. Toby and newly crowned president Will of YUCPC came, as did 2 Plymothelites, with me, Lucy, someone else and GUPA Phil completing the cluster…

A word of advice; don’t leave kit for 4 months under the stairs even if dry. More mould than a humid dustbin full of blue cheese. That helmet was fun…

I took Lucy, a guy with a camera whose name I fail to remember (he wore questionable trousers – and by that I mean they looked more like leggings), and Will took to the South Gully. Will rigged as I absent mindedly chatted crap, occasionally checking what he was doing (rigged like a pro on his 4th SRT trip, it was a bit tight though if you’re reading this). All done, they decided to go to Damacles rift and as they were numerous I elected to prussik back up and optimize the rigging (putting in a new re-belay). Kev showed up and we talked for about an hour (so much for caving) and left me to pop down North route. The others finished and headed out. They scarpered to the car due to impending rain, I followed suit after waiting for Will for a bit.

Changed and packed, Lucy raced off to the TSG due to carrying a passenger with constipation. We passed a sad sight – 2 mangled bicycles down Winnats, complete with a destroyed wall, an ambulance, doctors car and a helicopter. I won’t speculate on the story but we were very fearful that something had happened to Battenburg (who was out with Edd and Tom cycling over 100 miles). Thankfully they were safe and the jovial atmosphere resumed. The evening’s food was particularly good as was the dessert (No thanks to Kev). The delegates meeting was efficient and ran to time, and the issues raised gave much food for thought. I shan’t bore you with the rest – I went walking the next day to catch my first sun of the year at Bamford.

Excited for Ireland!


*the other is 100%, for reference I injured it in November and have spent several solid months whinging